Hello and welcome! As always, if you’re new and want to check out my previous issues, you can do so here.

Today, I’m talking about alcohol and our omnipresent drinking culture, but I want to be very clear about something first: I have no intention of shaming anyone who regularly drinks and loves happy hours. As I’m writing this, I’m coming off a 24 hour hangover after a great night out with friends, where I had a blast. So clearly, I’m not a sober saint.

I also understand that a lot of people have difficult or traumatic relationships with alcohol. If that’s the case, I suggest maybe skipping this newsletter — it’s more important to me that you take care of yourself.

I don’t identify as a frequent drinker. I went to some parties in college, none in high school, and have only drank alone twice. Pre-2020, I went to happy hours monthly, and had regular wine nights with roommates. I never felt out of control around alcohol. I blacked out sparingly in college, but always had fun.

However, I noticed after one particularly gruesome hangover that I was no longer feeling tipsy after one drink. I needed at least 3 drinks to start feeling “fun” — and if I couldn’t get in all 3 drinks, I would get crabby, feeling like I wasted time drinking alcohol without even getting drunk.

And that’s when I realized I had a problem with alcohol.

You may disagree, but I believe that the intention of drinking shouldn’t always equal getting drunk. Maybe you drink to let loose, have fun, or to fit in, but if your intention is to get drunk every time you drink, it may be worth taking a step back and analyzing that extreme thinking. Because for me, I realized I didn’t want to live a life — even just a social life — that was always chasing the next drunk night.

But in order for me to help resolve that thinking, I needed to take a step back from alcohol. So, starting in January 2020, I stopped unintentional drinking — meaning I replaced happy hour dates with coffee dates, I started tracking how much I was drinking when I did drink, and stopped having a constant source of alcohol in my apartment. Notice that I didn’t stop drinking altogether, I just started to be a lot more intentional about it.

I wouldn’t say that I have “healed” my relationship with alcohol. That hangover I mentioned earlier? That was after buying me and my friends a round of tequila shots at the bar — after I had at least 6 drinks. But by using the ingredients I outline below, like drinking non-alcoholic substitutes and tracking my alcohol intake, I feel like I trust myself around alcohol more, and overall have a better time.

Believe me, this wasn’t easy, especially working in DC, where happy hours (and even drinking at work) are so common. But I wanted a life where I knew none of my friendships relied on alcohol, where I could go on a walk with a friend and have just as good of a time as we would at the bar.

And overall, from my social life to my physical health, I feel like I have only improved my life by taking a step back from drinking and approaching alcohol from an intentional place. I hope that you can find this balance, too.

Talk soon,

Emily

The Recipe Breakdown

Lemon: Alcohol + drinking culture. There is no denying that drinking alcohol and participating in drinking culture can get out of control for a lot of people. Now, whether you love it, hate it, or are somewhere in between, consider trying out this recipe to become more mindful of your alcohol consumption.

Ingredient #1: The Tempest’s emails. About a year and a half ago, after a particularly bad hangover, I was ready to give up alcohol once and for all. That led me to the Tempest, an online sobriety community. Although I’m not an official member, their nearly-daily emails provide tips on a more-balanced lifestyle, information about how alcohol affects our bodies, and delicious mocktail recipes.

Ingredient #2: TryDry app. This app was created by an initiative in the UK to get folks to participate in Dry January and then donate the money they saved from not drinking to charity. Although the app is a little glitchy, it’s a great (+ free!) tracker that helps you keep tabs on how much you’re drinking and how much you’re spending on alcohol.

Ingredient #3: Recess, Calm, and other non-alcoholic drinks. The ritual of an evening beverage has always been so appealing to me, so being able to swap out an evening cider for another beverage was huge for me. Now, I’m a subscriber to Recess (which, if you’re not a regular user of CBD or THC, can make you feel a little high at first) and a regular drinker of Calm (which uses magnesium and other natural adaptogens to act as a mild muscle relaxer).

Want to talk about your own lemons, ingredients, or lemonade recipes? Feel free to reply to this email!

🍋 Lemon Zest 🍋

The Little Things that help make my days a little brighter 💕

🎵 Someday, I’ll be able to listen to Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects without also pretending to be the shy, dorky girl in a teen drama who just moved to a new town and has a crush on Josh, the soccer star, but today is not that day.

📝 I love a roomy planner, and Passion Planner’s undated daily option offers up a two-page spread per day, plus lots of reflections and long-term planning pages.

🕯️ I’m a big fan of rituals, and am very interested in this one Ritualist and The Joy List put together: a ritual for what we’ve learned & lost in covid.

💸 I can’t stop buying funky vases, which means I also can’t stop buying flowers. I’m planning on getting some sunflowers in this strawberry vase ASAP.

💅 I’m always trying new toners out for my skin, and am very interested in these 3 recipes to make my own at home. We love natural skincare!

💭 Dear friends, do I buy an exercise dress? Is it worth it? I’m so drawn to them but I’m not sure when I’d where it. Open to any and all opinions — just reply to this email!

☕ Thank you to Katie and Noah for buying me coffee! If you’d like to support my work and Making Lemonade, consider buying me a coffee or sending a few dollars my way via Venmo: @emmyfromminny! ☕