Hey folks, happy Monday! I have a bit of a longer story to tell today, so spare me a few minutes of your time. I promise my newsletters will not always be this long! Anyway…

Last newsletter, I talked about buzzwords, one of them being mindfulness.

A couple years ago, I had a therapist whose solution to almost everything was mindfulness. Irrational fears, trauma responses, nightmares, panic attacks — all of it could be solved if I just took a few minutes to slow down, ground myself, and keep my brain in the present.

He would send me links of studies and copies of workbook pages all around the power of mindfulness. One session, we just watched half of a documentary together.

And I’ll admit it, I was totally bought in. I signed up for a year of Headspace, bought a few meditation/mindfulness journals (classic), and began adding a 10 minute meditation to my to-do list every day. It felt good. I really valued those 10 minutes to myself and I loved how relaxed I was afterwards.

To be fair, there is a lot of research that shows mindfulness is good for you. And like I said, it felt good to practice! But I was still experiencing all of my previous issues and honestly, trying to prioritize mindfulness was hard. Especially being tied to an app like Headspace — I loved it, but I felt like I had to keep my phone around me 24/7, even though my phone makes me much less present.

I was so discouraged with it being treated like a magic pill, rather than a helpful tool, I just kind of…stopped. And once I stopped seeing this therapist, I quit thinking about mindfulness altogether. Goodbye Headspace, sleepy meditation tracks, and my daily 10 minutes of silence. (Btw, I’m not the only one who quit these apps recently.)

Now jump forward to about three months ago.

I’m constantly noticing just how rarely I’m in the present. During every event, whether it be a musical, a meeting, or church, I’m counting down the minutes until it’s done. I’m not reading for pleasure, I’m reading to finish the book. I’m eating to finish the meal and move on. Even in therapy, I’m counting down the minutes until it’s done so I can keep going throughout my day. I would even argue that my focus on planning for the future can lack a connection to the present — it’s always about what’s next.

I want to be more mindful. I want to be more present. So, today’s recipe offers some suggestions on reaching modern mindfulness. I’ll be testing them out these next few weeks — let me know if you are going to, too!

Talk soon,

Emily

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The Recipe Breakdown

Lemon: Mindfulness. How do we practice it without tech, capitalism, or reducing joy?

Ingredient #1: Embracing silence. Listen, I’m not going to take away listening to an audiobook on your hot girl walk. At least not every day. I am very much someone who, if I’m going anywhere outside my apartment, grabs headphones and starts listening to literally anything. Even if it’s just walking a block or two to grab coffee. In these next few weeks, I’m going to prioritize going on at least one walk a week without listening to anything, on top of not to listening to anything when I’m running quick errands in the neighborhood. It’s okay to not be consuming content 24/7 (and it’s important to be aware of your surroundings — the birds sound beautiful in the morning and the cicadas can sound cool at night).

Ingredient #2: Active listening. Folks who knew me in college may remember the emphasis we put on active listening in our SASA workshops about supporting survivors in your life. It’s so, so important to try and practice active listening as much as possible. But I’ll admit, working remotely has not made this easy. We’ve all been on a Zoom meeting that felt irrelevant to our work, so you turn the camera off and start scrolling. Sadly, I’ve noticed this bad habit even moving past Zoom calls and into my real life. I know it’s going to be a hard habit to break, but I want the people in my life to know I value them, so I will be practicing active listening as much as possible moving forward.

Ingredient #3: Following body cues. I’ve talked about body cues a few times here, but I feel we all need the reminder to listen to our body, and then actually follow what it says. The cues I ignore the most are my body craving movement or water. Pushing through these cues and trying to finish a task (or another episode of Glee) takes ourselves out of the present moment, away from our present needs. Next week, if you feel the need to stand up and stretch your legs, just do it. When you feel yourself getting parched, just grab a glass of water. Let’s respect our body’s needs and address them in the present as much as possible.

Want to talk about your own lemons, ingredients, or lemonade recipes? Feel free to reply to this email!

🍋 Lemon Zest 🍋

The Little Things that help make my days a bit brighter 💕

🎵 Demi’s new album, HOLY FVCK, is a head-banging bop. Unlike the newest Panic! at the Disco album, unfortunately.

📝 Once again highlighting my planner reviews! First because I want them to be helpful but second because I really like writing them! They’ll be coming out ony Sundays (and I’ll maybe start posting them on IG/TikTok too? Lmk if you’d be interested in that!).

☕ Initially due to requirements around my surgery, but now just because I like how I feel without caffeine, I’ve swapped to decaf coffee and tea only. One of my coworkers mentioned this article about caffeine and said it inspired their decaf journey. Dangerous to share an article I haven’t fully read yet, but wanted to share this wisdom!

💭 As I continue trying to become more present, I’ve become interested in breathwork. I know I just complained about apps, but this article on breathwork apps from The Nessie was very helpful.

📧 Big fan of The Financial Diet here — their newsletter is one I make sure I read all the way through for some great money + savings content. Here’s my referral link to sign up!

☕ If you’d like to support my work and Making Lemonade, consider buying me a coffee or sending a few dollars my way via Venmo: @emmyfromminny ☕