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Hello and welcome to the first Making Lemonade! For this first issue, I wanted to start with some radical transparency. It’s something I’ve been trying to practice more and I urge you to not shy away from practicing radical transparency, despite how intimidating it can be. Radical transparency only helps our communities. It helps us heal. It helps us connect. It helps us grow stronger. But it can be scary. The systems and powers that be often try to use our radical joy, love, and truths against us. But it’s often what we need – need from each other and need for ourselves. This is longer than I anticipate future issues to be, but it’s the first one, so stick with me. Many years ago, I thought it would be fun to launch a newsletter: I’d try out 21 day challenges, like drinking lemon water every morning or writing someone a letter every day, and see which habits stuck. I started floating that idea around, created the branding, and planned out my challenges. Then….I was diagnosed with a panic disorder. Then Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And then The Big One — Bipolar II. In hindsight, these diagnoses made sooo much sense (and it’s okay if you read that and thought the same!). But they were scary! I’ve had Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder since I was five, but getting new diagnoses at 25, especially ones that carry so much stigma, was a lot to handle. Suddenly, life felt so different. Yes, it was great to finally get diagnoses, but I began overanalyzing everything I did or have done. Did I really feel this way or was it just mania? Was my anxiety going outside justified or was it way out of proportion? Were my habits “normal” or were they obsessive? It was exhausting. After working with my therapist and primary care doctor, I began taking mood stabilizers — and suddenly, life was so. much. better. But it also introduced new challenges. So launching a new project based around daily challenges was too much. After a lot of back and forth, I sadly scrapped 21 Days. Then, while journaling during a sleepless night, I found my way to the concept behind Making Lemonade. Making Lemonade is based in the idea that in life, we get our lemons — hard or sour things that we’re not sure what to do with. And maybe not right away, but slowly, we learn what ingredients and tools we need to make lemonade out of those specific lemons. Sometimes our recipes change, we need new ingredients, or our old tools aren’t working as well. So it’s a constant journey of identifying our lemons, testing our different ingredients, and when we get it right, enjoying our lemonade. Each newsletter, I’m going to share one of my lemons and which ‘ingredients’ I’m trying out. This includes sharing the recipes that didn’t quite work, the ones that were perfect, and the ones that need some tweaking. Again, all about radical transparency here. So whether you relate to my story or not, I hope this newsletter inspires or motivates you to try something new, build your self care, or, at the very least, find a new planner (I’ll be recommending one each send, as well). Well, friend, that’s the story behind this newsletter. Thank you for bearing witness to my new truth. I hope, in any small way, this adds to the destigmatization of mental illness, even if just among my friends. And, of course, I encourage you to practice radical transparency next week. Where can you be vulnerable or share your story to help your community? Talk soon, Emily
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